The
Tale of Funlandia and the
Grand Coronation of Queen Nita
It was written in the
scrolls of the old scribe, Maid Mary of Onandon, that there was once a sad
time in the land once known as Therinlandia, for Queen Therin had left the
land and all her subjects floundering. She had gone on to dwell in the
land of the 50s and had not officially abdicated her throne.
The hearts were heavy
for some time in our land, for many did not know if we had done something
to anger our Queen, and we had no kindly leadership to call upon when
trouble brewed in the land, or outsiders passed our borders and caused
trouble in the land.
Our once loyal and
most highly esteemed Sir Rick had disappeared , off on some quest
somewhere. He was a good and kind knight, renowned for his levelness of
temperament and goode judgment, admired for his helpfulness and desire (!)
to aid any female in distress. He also took on quests with a true heart
and saw things through 'til the end. But he was seldom around to offer
protection and guidance in those dark days. (Personally, I think he may
have left some poor damsel in greater distress and with child, but that
has never been confirmed.)He was sorely missed by the people of the land.
Our other Knight, Sir Scrub, remained true to the land and the people,
even though his alter-ego Sir Crumb did much to try to cause skirmishes in
outlying lands. He offered up daily links to Urls in different, faraway,
exotic lands. Sir Scrub did his best to keep the people of our land busy
and happy in the absence of a Queen. It was Sir Scrub, along with our past
Dark and Sarcastic Wizard known as OZ, that introduced our Grand Wazoo,
the one known as snork with no honor of a capital initial letter, to us,
and recruited him to help newbies and keep whiners out of the land. He had
previously published a work of writing known in another region, "Does MSN
Really Suck?" Though known to be rather dour and mysteriously odd by
nature, he was welcomed into our land and we were most honored that he
stayed and agreed to become our Grand Wazoo.
The people of the
land sought Therin, and asked that she return, but it was not to be. The
people rallied around Sir Scrub's call to ask the most kind and joyous
Nita to be our new Queen. She accepted the challenge and was tickled pink
to be so revered by the masses. We all knew she would not be a
mean-spirited queen or show her position a callous disregard. The cry rose
in the land,
"Nita! Nita!" But as
a goode and law-abiding people, we knew a Coronation was in order, and of
course, so as not to anger God and Monarchs of neighboring lands, Maid
Mary went to the Land of the 50s and asked our former Queen Therin for her
blessing and the honour of her presence at the coronation of our queen to
be. (She said something like, "Yeah, sure, whatever...")
What a Grand
Coronation it was! Before the great event, Nita chose her high court and
delegated jobs to all her subjects. Maid Mary was named the Court Scribe,
though she really did not want the job for she shunned the attention
to herself, but agreed to do it in honour and bequest of the new queen. A
Proclamation was sent forth, as was an open invitation to all in the land
to attend the gala event. The Queen-to-Be's maids in waiting (who were NOT
pregnant) tended to the QTB's every need. Her entourage included the
lovely and much frantic Sandy, Sandi-furcilla (maid and royal cat) and
Paula. The Advisor to the Queen was and shall forever remain Frodo. Ken
was our most trusted and adept Keeper of the Gate and caretaker of Earl,
the voracious moat monster. The QTB's husband never sought the title of
King, but has remained by Nita's side through it all as the Sweaty
Peasant, not to be confused with Ron (NJ), the Pleasant Peasant.
What a joyous
celebration! All those who had been delegated tasks and many who hadn't
joined together and brought a sumptuous buffet, knightly games, joyous and
regal music, artistic embellishments, and a wonderful commemorative show,
including fireworks, was designed by our Wizard. At that time, our land
was renamed Funlandia and Queen Nita was crowned. The dark days were gone!
Long live Queen Nita
and her Royal Court, and the Realm of Funlandia!
Respectfully submitted by
former Royal Scribe and estranged world wide web traveler, Maid Mary of Onandon
The above was done from
memory, feeble as it is, of Maid Mary, as all her scrolls and artifacts
were destroyed in a crash. No back-up systems were
available.
